Return to me

Today Lionel went to pick up Rusty's ashes after work. They came in a really nice box. We are going to spread them in the backyard so he is always with us, but not just yet. I just want to have him in the house once again for at least a day or two, before I let him go for good.

Bella's nap

Yesterday Bella decided to take a nap in the middle of the hallway. Apparently she didn't want to go into her room because she did not want to be alone. I am just surprised she fell asleep like that: No tossing, no turning, head in the pillow and blanket on.

Paper dog

Yesterday Sofia made this for me. I thought it was so sweet. She even drew the food and the water bowl. She knows I miss the boy.

In loving memory...

Today we got couple cards in the mail, one from Rusty's regular vet, and one from the vet where we took him on his last night. It was unexpected. It was sad and special at the same time.

Doggie Heaven

In memory of my sweet, sweet boy

In my 35 years of life I've found myself crying for a pet more than once. But it had been a while... This time around I was not alone. This time around Lionel was equally distraught.

It all started many years ago. Per my insistence, a few months after getting married we went and got a dog. Lionel never had one as a kid, and I missed having one around. When we went to the shelter I liked this one Chow Chow, but Lionel noticed Rusty just standing there - calm and collected - while the other dogs were going crazy barking and chasing their tails.

When they brought Rusty into the room to visit with us he walked in, came straight to us, and gave us the paw. And that was it. At that very moment Lionel fell in love with him and he got himself a ticket to be the third Bey. We had to wait couple days, but on Feb 7, 2002 he came home with us.

Rusty was a mellow, sweet dog since day one. He was so mellow that when we lived in our first house we actually thought he didn't know how to bark. Back then, since we didn't have children or a fenced in yard, we used to walk him three times a day. Those were "the days" for him.

When we moved into our new house seven years ago he was with us. When we became parents for the first time he was with us. When I got my current job he was with us. When we brought my parents to Cincinnati he was with us. Through so many crucial moments - good and bad - he was with us. Every day he welcomed us when we came back from work, and sat next to me when I worked at night. He and I were always the last ones up. Even though at the beginning he was very much Lionel's dog, somewhere along the way he started to follow me around instead. He became my boy.

Sadly, over the last couple weeks his heath really started to deteriorate. The vet said his liver was failing him, and the only thing they could do was give him medicine to help him eat and ease the discomfort. At the beginning we were hopeful the medicine would help him for a little while - but that didn't last. We tried couple different medicines and several kinds of food, but yesterday it became apparent he was done when he struggled getting up and completely stopped drinking at all.

So last night, just a few days short of our 10th anniversary with him, we had to put him down. It was heartbreaking, but we knew it was the right thing for him. We said our goodbyes, and through the whole process I held him in my arms ... one last time.

Ice, ice baby

Last night we got a lot of freezing rain. Or maybe it wasn't a lot, but it was enough to make this morning a mess. Every time we have weather like this Sofia asks me: "Mami, is it warm in Mexico right now?" ... I think she knows that weather-wise, we got the short end of the stick around here.

Exagerada

There's nothing like a kid completely exaggerating. Couple days ago, as I was putting Sofia to bed, she turned around and told me: "Mami, I just hit myself in the bed and I felt like my bone broke".

Rain, rain, go away...

This morning, as the girls and I headed out for school and for work, it was raining very hard. As I was putting Bella in her car seat, she told me: "Mami, it is raining everywhere, and now we can't play anywhere". I don't think she intended to make a rhyme out of her complaint - she was truly concerned. I love that girl.

Little tea pot

A few weeks ago Bella made this little tea pot at school. It has a magnet in the back so you can put it on the refrigerator, and that is exactly what we did. But every time Bella sees it she removes it from there and hands it to one of us. "It is a gift for you", she says, and makes sure that we don't put it down. She is cute like that.

There is a song that comes with it as well. It goes something like this:

I am a little tea pot
short and stout
here is my handle
here is my spout
....

New waters

Yesterday we learned that the girls swim teacher will no longer be able to continue teaching because she has just too much on her plate. I was super sad to hear the news because over the years she has always been fantastic with the girls. I can't imagine finding a better teacher than her.

This won't be easy on them. Truth be told, it won't be easy on me either. Sofia is pretty much swimming by now, but I am bummed that Bella only got to spend a few months with Nancy.

She recommended another teacher already. I guess we will give it a try.

Iglesia

Yesterday Sofia had her very first ever religious education class. As every time she goes to a new place she was highly intimidated, and at the beginning started to cry. But I stayed with her and she quickly calmed down. She didn't participate that much, but all things considered she did really well.


We finally signed her up because they told me at Saint Mary that religious education is one of the prerequisites for her first communion. Since we don't go to church a lot I must admit this feels a bit like a chore, but it is a good thing because we do want her to grow up Catholic after all.

My musical little monkey

Daddy

Today Sofia made this drawing for Lionel. It is a picture of the two of them. She is always drawing Bella, me, and her - all girls - but she tends to forget about Lionel. So I was happy to see she explicitly thought about him.

Sofia's 5 legged Leopard

Life and Death

Earlier today Sofia and I were driving past a cemetery when she started asking me a bunch of very difficult questions. How do you end up there? Who puts you there? Do they put you in a box or do they just dump the bones in there? And when somebody comes visit you, do they dig up the bones? Why don't they dig them up? Then what's the point? And when you die, can you come back to life again?

As usual she caught me off guard, so I struggled to barely answer couple of those questions:

How do you end up there? Hmm ... well ... you go there when ... you know .... you get very, very, very, VERY old .... and then .... well ... you are no longer alive

Do they put you in a box? Hmmm ... yes

Do they dig up the bones? No. Definitely not. People go and just sit there, to feel close to that person, but nobody digs up anything

Do you come back to life again? Well, some people believe so. Others, not so much.

New Job

Last Monday it appeared my dad would be joining the millions of unemployed people in the US. A week later he was starting a new job. Who would have thought? I don't know all the details yet but I am happy for him. He deserves to get a break!

Chicas Terremoto 2011

Look what I got in the mail today! My books with all my blog posts from last year. I had too many, so I had to print them in two separate books. It made me so happy to finally have them in my hands!

Rosca 2012

Even though Tia, Tio, and Dieguito are far, far away, the rest of us happily kept the tradition going one more year. I love cutting Rosca, is the perfect way for Christmas to end.

Today's tennis lesson

Regalos!

Bella opened her gifts from Los Reyes Magos - mostly clothes - and the first thing she said, with a big surprised look on her face, was: "No princess?". But she loved her red dress, and insisted on wearing it that same day. Sofia did as well, even though her black dress is still way too big for her. Sofia also had the idea of taking a picture with the Reyes Magos ornaments, to remember that the gifts were from them.

Los Reyes Magos

Tonight Sofia made a letter for Los Reyes Magos on behalf of Bella and herself. I told her they only bring gifts to kids who know how to speak Spanish so she made the effort ... with my help. They then put the letter in Sofia's shoe, and both their little shoes side by side under the Christmas tree. This year most of the gifts were courtesy of tia and tio. That's too bad they won't be here to see the girls open them, and have rosca with us.

Caveman

Today, while the girls were taking a shower, Sofia told me: "Mami, one of my friends from school told me I was hairy".

"She did?", I asked.

"Yes", she added. "She told me that I look like a caveman!"

The statement was so exaggerated that it made me laugh. "Look at my arms. I have hair too. I guess I am a caveman as well!", I said laughing. But then I realized that Sofia was not laughing and -in fact- she was about to cry.

"That is NOT funny mami! She was being mean. She was making fun of me!"

My initial reaction was to ask if there is something about that girl Sofia could make fun of in return - just to show her how it feels. But of course that wouldn't have been a good life lesson at all. So instead I told her not to listen to her, and to simply remember that she is a beautiful girl.

Back to normal

Tomorrow I go back to work for the first time since Dec 16. The girls have also been out of school since then, and Lionel was on vacation for a week. Needless to say, it is going to be rough to go back to the routine for all of us.

Let it snow!

Today we had the first snow fall of the year. It was also very cold, but the girls didn't seem to mind. They played outside in the deck for a little while. At the beginning I didn't want Bella to play outside because she is still unpredictable and needs to be watched closely, but seeing my Sofia played by herself broke my heart. So I bundled Bella up and watched them closely from the kitchen door.