The little things

Sometimes it is the most random little things that make your day. The other day, when I logged on to my twitter account, I had a follower request from Crystal Buble, the little sister of Michael, my favorite singer by a mile. She must have seen a picture I loaded from the Toledo concert a few weeks ago. Once I accepted her follower request I even sent her a short personal note, which she replied to a few days later. I know it is totally dumb, and nothing that will make my life better or worse, but for a moment it made me feel special, and that made my day. I also took the below screenshot so that later on I can remind myself that I did not dream of it.

Silence

Lionel went out for dinner tonight with somebody from work. Even though being the only parent in charge invariable brings more work, in a way I do enjoy getting out of the routine. There's something to be said for moving at your own pace, and once the girls are in bed, having a minute to yourself.

BFF

My 10 year old neighbor Emma was hanging out with my girls yesterday evening as Lionel and I spent a few minutes talking to her parents in the front yard. Bella went and got some chalk, so they started drawing on the driveway. As we all went back inside, I noticed Emma had drawn the below.

It is true what they say, that a picture speaks more than a thousand words. Poor Emma, if we could only assure her that she will not feel this way again about a Best Friend that will not turn out to be Forever.

Little tyrant

For the last few weeks, since we came back from vacation, Bella has been a little tyrant that does not let us sleep. She wakes up multiple times per night, crying for no apparent reason, and waking everybody up. As for tonight, it seems like it will not be an exception. Here we go...

Todas las chicas terremoto

On a lazy sunday afternoon...

Mariposas

Today we went back to the butterfly show and unlike couple weeks back, this time around it was the four of us. I really liked that. Lionel was disappointed that all you did was look at the butterflies, as they were flying around. That really made me laugh. I asked him if he expected them to be actually putting on a show and doing tricks ... that also made him smile.

Sofia trying to give Bella a butterfly

Casa Abues

Yesterday Bella and Sofia spent pretty much the entire afternoon at my parent's house. I hate to abuse, and I hate to be away from them for that long, but Lionel and I desperately needed to clean our front yard. The girls had a lot of fun, and even though they fought it, it appears they eventually went down for a while.

Out of the picture

Since I am the one who is always taking pictures, I feel like I don't have a lot of pictures with the girls, especially with Bella. So yesterday, after our tennis lessons, I asked Sofia to take a random picture of us. As usual Bella refused to smile at the camera but that's ok, you can still tell it is her and I.

Father's day lunch

A final birthday message

Gabi's Birthday Cake

Gabi's Birthday Dinner

I laughed so hard during this dinner. It had been a very long time since I laughed this hard.

Sisterly Love

Earlier this week was Gabi's birthday. Since it was on a work day we actually had dinner with friends the Saturday before to celebrate. But on the exact date the family also got together to celebrate again and cut cake. Lionel, the girls, and I got there before my parents, so as we waited we all hang out in Gabi's porch, getting in and out of the swing like musical chairs.

At some point, when Gabi and I were sitting there, I asked Sofia to take a picture of us. The resulting picture is not our best ever, as we are both making a silly face. But there is something really sweet about it nevertheless. Maybe it is because we look happy. Or maybe it is because we know we love each other the way only sisters can.

Baseball

Today I was once again able to confirm that I am just not a baseball fan. I went to a Reds/Yankees game for a work event and at times I honestly found myself wishing I was back in the office in a meeting or checking my email. Enough said.

Father’s Day

Today is father’s day in Mexico, the US, and maybe a few other places. I intended to update my Facebook status with a simple "Happy father’s day to my Dad and Lionel", but decided against it because the thought seemed to lack depth. As I scrolled down to check out the postings of the day, I could see some of the messages daughters had for their Dads, and wives had for their husbands. Notes like the below would haunt me for the rest of the day:

"I love you honey, not only you are the BEST husband, but the best Dad EVER! I am sooo proud of you".

Hmmmm...

Of course at the time I was reading this I was also at home alone with the girls, and Lionel was out spending some ME time by himself. As far as I know, this was the one thing he was really looking forward to today.

As I read those thoughts of happy wives I couldn't ignore my own thoughts of "Wow, I so wish I could say the same". I mean -maybe it is just me- but on a day that celebrates being a father I would think that the thing to do is to want to spend time WITH your kids.

Don’t get me wrong, Lionel IS a good dad. But the BEST dad "EVER"? Nope. I really can't say that. After all, this afternoon we all went swimming - without him. Last weekend we went to the butterflies show - without him, and like those examples I have many more. This would be a typical scenario if I did not work, and had time to do fun things with the kids during the week. But that is not the case here.

He has missed a lot of fun times with us not because he couldn't join, but because he decided not to go. I guess ME time had a higher priority. I don't remember the last time he suggested getting out of the routine and doing something fun for the four of us. He likes the status quo. Many times I have felt that when he agrees to a new idea or activity he mostly does it because he doesn't want to deal with the fallout of saying no ... or because maybe he hopes that doing this today will get him more ME time tomorrow. I just wish he did it because he really wants to, and because spending time with your children IS fun.

Some good friends of ours are dealing right now with the disappointment of not being able to have a second child. They are such nice people, deserving of having a second one, and seeing them in this situation truly breaks my heart. It also fills me with anger that Lionel doesn't realize how incredibly lucky and blessed he is to have such beautiful, healthy little girls.

Maybe I am naive, but I suspect that the "best dad ever" does not have some of the tendencies that Lionel many times displays.

Big Helper

Tonight, after dinner, something strange happened. Sofia not only picked up her plate and took it to the sink. She also took mine, and even offered to wash some of them by hand. I thought that was quite strange, considering they usually have to be nagged to clean up after themselves, so I let her go with the flow to see if she would really do it. And what do you know? She did! She even recruited Bella to dry them, and told me that she wanted to do it every single night. I  really wonder what would 15 year old Sofia tell 6 year old Sofia about that.

Of course after we finished cleaning Sofia came back and asked if I would give her some money for helping out. So I guess it was not all altruistic but still, it was fun to watch.

The most disgusting story ever told

If you are not a parent, this posting is not for you.
If you are a parent, but your children are all grown up, this posting is probably not for you.
If you are someone who easily gets grossed out, this posting is most definitely not for you.

If you made it to this point though, you probably think this posting may not cause you any harm. And if that is the case, read on...

The other day, when I picked up Sofia from summer camp, they had gone on a field trip to a large local pool. As usual I asked about her day, to which she answered:

"After we went swimming, when I went to the girls bathroom, guess what I saw?"

"What did you see?", I said, knowing that whatever came next was not going to be good.

"There was poop in the toilet", she said.

"What did you do? Did you leave? Did you flush?", I asked, trying hard not to picture what she had just described.

"Yes, I flushed ... after I pooped too".

"WHAAAAT?!?!? ... You mean that you did NOT flush before?", I said, wondering how in the world would I manage to keep my food down at dinner that night.

"A-ha".

"That is disgusting Sofia. You can't do that. You have to flush first, or even better, go to another stall".

"Ok, I will do that next time".

Lucky!

Many times I have wondered if I am lucky for being able to function on a few hours of sleep, if I am totally pushing my luck, or if there is a combination of both.

Great Sunday

Today we had a great Sunday with the girls: Butterfly show in the morning, and Yagoot and park in the afternoon. I even tried to go to mass with my mom, Gabi and Raj. Unfortunately the priest did not arrive, but I had good intentions so hopefully that counts.

Rusty

Rusty is such a good dog. Every night, when I am sitting on the couch working on the computer, he sits right by my side. And he stays there no matter how late I work. He waits for me until we both go upstairs, and I finally make it to bed.

Day of firsts

Today was Sofia's very first field trip at her summer camp. Since we live so close to her school, it was also her very first time riding a yellow school bus. In the morning, since we were right in the nick of time, Isabella and I took her to camp first even though she usually comes with me to drop Bella off. As I was parking the car she told me "Mami, if you want I can walk in all by myself" ... another first. I am not sure if she offered because she knew that getting Bella out of the car is always an extra step, or because she is really starting to feel like a big girl. Either way I had to sign her in, so we all went in.

When I picked her up it sounded like she really had a good time, even though she managed to peel some of her skin off on her left arm. I guess it happened when she was going down a slide. Although it is just a small spot it looked really bad but she was not making a big deal out of it  - yet another first.

I am very excited to see that she is really enjoying the summer, the way that it should be.

I'm by your side

When someone you know is hurting, sometimes it is hard to know what to do or what to say. You want to ask how they are doing, but you are also afraid that bringing the subject up might bring them back down when they are trying to pick themselves up. So many times the best you can do is to offer your company, indirectly letting them know that you are there for them, and that you are ready to listen whenever they need to talk.

Forgive ... even if you can't forget

Today I had a meeting with someone who recently "did my wrong". I could have chosen to be nasty, to confront, and even try to be a road block. But holding grudges does not do anybody any good. So I was nice and helpful, because that's the way I like to be. And even though this person may or may not have deserved it, being that way made me feel good. I won't be forgetting what happened anytime soon, and even though I can no longer trust, I still choose to forgive.

Family Loss

I learned earlier today that my maternal grandmother passed away yesterday. I still haven't had a chance to talk to my mom, so I am not sure if she was by her side when it happened, and if she got to say good bye. But I hope she did. And may she now rest in peace.

MB Times 6

Tonight I went to my 6th Michael Buble concert in the last 15 months. Many might think that is 5 too many, and that after a while it might get boring. But to me, this is something I still keep enjoying ... a lot. I once again managed to get floor tickets, once again came with my sister, and once again made it to front row in the smaller stage where he shook my hand not once, but twice. Add to that the fact that it is a great show in its own right and voila! ... That's why I keep coming back.

This is my guilty pleasure and that's ok. We all deserve to have one.

Work Email

I am afraid of checking my work email. During the week I was away God only knows how many things could have gone wrong, and how many conflicts could have come up. So instead of checking tonight, and potentially risking a bad night sleep, I am waiting until tomorrow and instead risking a potentially really tough day.

Gordita Cansada

Bella was so tired this evening, after going to bed late last night, and not taking a nap, that she actually fell asleep on the couch waiting for dinner. The must have been a first.

Clutter

Whenever we come back from a long trip, our house always seems particularly cluttered to me. I think there are two reasons for this:

1) No matter how we look at it, our poor house IS cluttered.
2) Those rental houses are - by nature - not cluttered. 

The Final Stretch

During the last leg of our trip, after stopping in Lexington for dinner, and just about an hour and a half from home, all hell broke lose for a little while. The sun was setting, so I asked Sofia if she had noticed it yet. That started a series of questions Lionel and I could only half answer and would have preferred not to face, especially after being in the car all day. It all started with "What is the sun made of? Is it made of fire? Would I burn myself if I touched it? Who made it and who put it there?"

At one point Lionel told Sofia that God made the sun, which prompted round two of the questioning with even more difficult religious and philosophical subjects that neither Lionel or I are well equipped to answer: "Is God a man? Does he have a mom and a dad like us? Where does he live? Can we go there?"

I was so flustered I couldn't even answer. I was taken over by a nervous laugh, and resorted to telling her she was tired and needed to close her eyes and try to fall asleep. But before she did, Lionel told her you needed to be nice ALL the time if you wanted to go to Heaven - where God lives. And if you were not, you had to go to a place where it is really hot, and you don't really want to be there. As he said that I could see Sofia's face and could sense the worry that comes from knowing you haven't always behaved. Maybe it was this last scary thought that made her agree that it was time to call it a day.

Bella in the meantime, oblivious to the conversation, was enjoying some last minutes with my iPhone. When we finally told her it was time to sleep - and I took the phone away - she completely lost it and started to cry and scream. At that point, knowing the poor child had been strapped to her car seat pretty much all day, I knew there wasn't much I could do to make her feel better. She was so tired that it was time to cry it out.

As a last resort to have a peaceful end to our trip I also moved to the back seat with them. I didn't have much room and had to squeeze in between the two car seats, but that calmed Bella down. She eventually fell asleep, just like Sofia, and I was able to finish writing this. By then we had finally made it home. Vacation was officially over, and we were back where we belong.

Happy Meal

On our way back home from Hilton Head we stopped at a McDonalds for lunch. We had tried to stop by a mall instead, but the one close by turned out to be a crappy one.

As soon as we entered, the first stop was at the restroom with both girls while Lionel waited outside. When it was time to order our meal Sofia asked for "one of those boxes that has a toy inside". We ordered two happy meals for the girls, and luckily they got the same toy inside. I say luckily because otherwise that could have ended up in a debate. After they finished their meal they headed to the indoor playground as Lionel, who by then was checking his phone, pointed out they had free wifi.  I pulled my iPad out of my purse, hoping to check couple things real quick while the girls ran around. I hadn't even connected to the wifi when Sofia came running my way telling me she needed to go to the bathroom and asking me to go with her. So I put my iPad down and went. When we came back I took my iPad out of my purse again. I connected to the wifi, and opened the Facebook app. At that moment though, Bella came running telling me she needed to go to the bathroom again. Lionel and I shared a "you got to be kidding" look, I put my iPad down once again, and headed to the bathroom for yes, the THIRD time. When we came back from the bathroom Lionel started cleaning the table.

"Should I throw away the toys?", he asked.

"No, they'll throw a fit if you do", I said.

I was then finally able to have a minute to myself while the girls ran around. We gave them the typical 5, 2, and 1-minute warnings so they knew when it was time to head out.

As we were collecting our stuff to leave and Sofia came back to the table she asked: "Where is my toy?"

"I threw it away. I thought that's what you told me to do", said Lionel looking at me.

"No! I told you NOT to throw them away or they would have a fit", I said again.

By then Sofia was crying because she didn't have her toy, and Bella was whining because she did not want to leave. I was complaining to Lionel that he never listens, and he kept insisting he could swear I told him to get rid of them.

Luckily by the time we were back in the car, seat belts on and ready to go, we had all moved on. Unluckily, later in the afternoon the girls did find something else to whine and fight about. ... Although that also eventually passed. And we eventually made another quick McDonalds stop, although this time it was only for a potty break. While there, we even took a picture of the toy that Lionel threw away.

Little Divas

It is amazing how early in life girls develop a desire to choose what they are going to wear, what they want on their hair, and what shoes they do or do not like. Both my girls started to have a preference for all of the above before they were even two years old. The other day Bella even told me she didn't want to wear a particular swim suit because she had just worn it the day before, which wasn't even true because she had worn it even earlier in the week. But the point is that she remembered wearing it recently, which in her mind made it ineligible to be worn again anytime soon.

I never hear similar stories from moms who have boys. Their challenges appear to have more to do with putting on clean clothes ... and keeping them on.

I guess girls must have a natural sense of style. I know that later on they might develop a strong preference for very specific and probably expensive brands. But at least for now they wear whatever I buy.

Mamitis

Bella is at that stage where she just wants me. She wants me to give her a bath, brush her hair, brush her teeth, put her to bed, feed her, help her find her toys, etc.  You name it, but if she wants something then it has to be ME.

This was even more acute during vacation, probably because she was in a different place and out of her routine. Even though they offered, she did not want grandpa or Lionel to play with her at the beach. She loved being in the water, and feeling the waves gently push her back and forth, but she had to do it holding on to me. And when it was time to leave it had to be me who carried her when she had trouble walking on the lumpy sand. One day she even cried for ten minutes in the car because she had to go with Lionel while Sofia and I rode our bikes back to the house.

On one hand it is nice to be preferred, but on the other hand it can really be a pain. I can't do anything for more than five minutes (tops) without being interrupted and more often than not I have to get up, when I just sat down, while Lionel sits there comfortably, playing with his iPad, or watching TV. I do feel bad when Bella refuses to go with him, but at least he is benefiting from it in a way.

So it is tough to go through this stage, but we already did it once and I am sure we can do it again.

Big Belly

Sometimes, when I walk by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself, I think I look four or five months pregnant. It doesn't happen all the time, as it depends on what I'm wearing and my good or bad posture, but when it does it is a bittersweet thought. I know it will never happen again, and my lifeless belly lifeless will remain, but I like remembering when i was pregnant and how happy I was to be able to go everywhere with my girls. I loved feeling them move inside me, and spending time wondering how would they look like and how would their voices sound. Being pregnant doesn't come without challenges, but no one can deny it is truly an amazing thing.

Aug 2008 - Pregnant with Bella

Sep 2008 - Pregnant with Bella

Mid Sept 2008

My Birthday 2008

My last picture being pregnant, before Bella came 3 weeks early

Obsessed

Bella is completely obsessed with my iPhone and my iPad. She prefers the iPad, so if she has the phone she only gives it up voluntarily when she thinks she has a chance at getting the iPad instead. Every time we've had downtime during vacation I've found her glued to one of them, and even when we went bike riding she held on to my phone to be able to hear her music as we strolled through the Island. I wish she were not as obsessed as she is with this, but I do hope it helps us have a reasonably quiet trip on the way back home. It is going to be a long one, so we will need all the help we can get.

Sofia's list

When we first got here I asked Sofia what she wanted to do during vacation. Her answer was that she wanted to go to the beach, go to the pool, ride a bike, and go out for dinner once. We have certainly done the first three, and we are all going out for dinner tonight, so I think she is a pretty happy camper right now. This year she has also had plenty of fun with Lionel going to the beach in the afternoon, when there is high tide, to jump on the bigger waves. I would have thought she would be afraid, but I'm happy to see I was wrong. Its too bad Bella can't join in the fun just yet, but given how adventurous she is, she may not have to wait too long.