Father’s Day

Today is father’s day in Mexico, the US, and maybe a few other places. I intended to update my Facebook status with a simple "Happy father’s day to my Dad and Lionel", but decided against it because the thought seemed to lack depth. As I scrolled down to check out the postings of the day, I could see some of the messages daughters had for their Dads, and wives had for their husbands. Notes like the below would haunt me for the rest of the day:

"I love you honey, not only you are the BEST husband, but the best Dad EVER! I am sooo proud of you".

Hmmmm...

Of course at the time I was reading this I was also at home alone with the girls, and Lionel was out spending some ME time by himself. As far as I know, this was the one thing he was really looking forward to today.

As I read those thoughts of happy wives I couldn't ignore my own thoughts of "Wow, I so wish I could say the same". I mean -maybe it is just me- but on a day that celebrates being a father I would think that the thing to do is to want to spend time WITH your kids.

Don’t get me wrong, Lionel IS a good dad. But the BEST dad "EVER"? Nope. I really can't say that. After all, this afternoon we all went swimming - without him. Last weekend we went to the butterflies show - without him, and like those examples I have many more. This would be a typical scenario if I did not work, and had time to do fun things with the kids during the week. But that is not the case here.

He has missed a lot of fun times with us not because he couldn't join, but because he decided not to go. I guess ME time had a higher priority. I don't remember the last time he suggested getting out of the routine and doing something fun for the four of us. He likes the status quo. Many times I have felt that when he agrees to a new idea or activity he mostly does it because he doesn't want to deal with the fallout of saying no ... or because maybe he hopes that doing this today will get him more ME time tomorrow. I just wish he did it because he really wants to, and because spending time with your children IS fun.

Some good friends of ours are dealing right now with the disappointment of not being able to have a second child. They are such nice people, deserving of having a second one, and seeing them in this situation truly breaks my heart. It also fills me with anger that Lionel doesn't realize how incredibly lucky and blessed he is to have such beautiful, healthy little girls.

Maybe I am naive, but I suspect that the "best dad ever" does not have some of the tendencies that Lionel many times displays.