Almost there

Lately I've been feeling like I am running on fumes. Maybe it's this weather, maybe it's because it is the end of the year, or maybe it simply is because vacation was coming and my body knew that it was finally time to rest. Whatever it is, I've been tired and lethargic, very much dragging my feet.

By now it has probably been 3 weeks since last time I worked out, the longest I've gone without it for a very long time. Getting out of my workout routine usually makes me feel heavy and unhappy with myself. But right now I don't even have the energy to feel bad about it. I know I'll eventually get back to it, and sometimes the best you can do is to just take a break.

Resentment

Some days I really resent myself for not being smart, talented, passionate, or visionary enough to start a successful company that generates millions and millions in the blink of an eye. Or what about doing something that will impact people all over the world? No. Instead I am working my little office job that does not give me enough time off to hang out with my kids and makes me sweat a snow day.

Snow Day

I wish snow days were a happy event in my world Vs the awful source of stress they invariable become when the show their ugly face. Today, for instance, both Isabella's daycare and Sofia's new school were closed because we got a lot of snow and the roads were a mess. As many people were celebrating, here I was thinking: Crap, I guess that means I am not going anywhere today.

For many people having a snow day means not going to work and as such, no work to get done. For all of them it is simply time to play, relax, and maybe hang out on the couch with a hot cup of tea. For me, however, that only means double workload as I still need to do my job AND somehow also take care of the girls.

Having a job that allows you to work from whenever there is an internet connection can be a blessing, but it can also be a curse. So in order to be able to work and survive the very long day, I was forced to give the girl’s full reign of the house. Whatever toy they wanted to take out, whatever stuff they wanted to drag to my room, whatever little video they wanted to watch they got it ... as long as they were playing nice, and as long as they were safe.

But even if you get your kids to entertain themselves, it is also stressful to know that at the worst possible time, maybe when you are on the phone with your boss, they will start screaming, fighting, or doing something else that will make you look completely unprofessional, and will make people wonder if you are really working, or just hanging out with your kids.

On the other hand, it is also horrible to tell your kids over and over to be quiet, that it will be "just one more minute" when they are trying to show you something and you know fully well that one minute may end up being more like an hour, if that.

So sorry to be a grump but NO, I DONT enjoy snow days. They stress me too much and make feel like this: Bad worker. Bad mom.

Selective Learning

Sofia: Mami, a piece of my candy cain fell to the ground.
Me: That is Ok. Just throw it away.
Sofia: But that is not Ok mami. We should not waste food.
Me: Candy is NOT food. In fact, it is not good for you.

Doctoras Bey

Last Sunday's pretend profession of choice was Doctor. Both the girls took turns, with Isabella once again surprising us all by actually slowing down long enough to play the cooperative patient having her heart, belly, ears, and teeth checked.

Listen to your heart

Although it probably would have proved therapeutic, this week I have not had much time to write. I've been busy with other important stuff like visiting my Dad at the hospital. After years of refusing to go to the Doctor for either big or small aches and pains, last Sunday he finally had no choice. After going to see the Doctor for what he though was just a nagging cough, we ended up taking him to the emergency room because he was having trouble breathing, and his heart was not doing very well at all. Turns out he had to stay the night, and another, and another.

Staying there and having all kinds of tests done has by no means been his favorite thing. It has also been stressful for all of us not to know exactly what was wrong, and seeing him tired, bored, and scared of what might happen next.  But we feel he has received excellent care, so from that respect we can't complain. And although we may never know exactly the root cause of his heart issues, he is now getting treated and we have the peace of mind that with the right ongoing care he will be Ok.

So just one more night, and he will be able to go back home. I am sure he is eager to get out of there, to go back to his routine, but this time around taking better care of himself. Hopefully this experience, and having my mom, my sister and I right by his side, reminds him that he is loved, and we want him to stick around.

Necio

I love my Dad, but he is one stubborn man. There, I said it. Necio, necio, necio. Necio until the end.