The big apple

If I had to describe NY in one word, that would have to be "Diverse". If I had two words, I would then have to go with "Melting Pot".

It's hard to believe, but it’s been 11 years since I last came here. This is also just my second time visiting, but for some reason this feels like a familiar place to me. I can really say, with a straight face, that I have truly enjoyed our last couple days here.  In fact, this may be premature, but I would even say that I just love this place. Not sure if I would love living here, but I would definitely visit again and again.

As I sit in the lobby of our hotel, waiting for it to be time to head to the airport, I feel like I have to rush to put into words all the things I like about this place. I don’t want to leave anything out, as if doing so made it look less interesting, less exciting, and less cultural than it really is.

Over the last couple days Lionel and I walked up and down, left and right, side by side with the locals, with a purpose, as if we really had to be somewhere. Walking through one of the parks I told Lionel “You know? There are so many people who look like me, that I really don’t stand out in this place”. Now, you may think that is depressing, but to me it was kind of refreshing. The diversity here is just that sublime. And the thing is, people don’t just stay with “their own”, it really is a big melting pot. We have seen many beautiful people that you couldn’t start to guess what is their background. I guess they had a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

After all the walking our feet are exhausted, but it’s not just our legs that got a good workout. So did all our senses taking in all the beauty, smells and street sounds. So thank you New York, and see you next time.

NYC so far

Right now I am sitting in bed in a very modern New York City hotel. Lionel's pick of course. Our hotel is right across the street from the New York City library, so we are right in Manhattan, within walking distance from times square, the Rockefeller center, Bryant park, and many, many shops.

We arrived yesterday afternoon, around 3:00pm, and will be going back home on Monday night. The official reason for our trip is another Michael Buble concert, but the unofficial reason is that sometimes is nice to get away, enjoy some quiet time, and get out of your routine.

As soon as we arrived we took a Taxi to our hotel, checked in, quickly unpacked, and went out to take a walk. First stop, Rockefeller center. The ice skating rink was there, but unfortunately the tree was not lit yet. We then moved on to Times Square. With so many TV screens the place was lit Ok, and it was also crazy packed, literally rivers of people everywhere. It was also cooler than we thought, so we had to make couple quick and cheap purchases from street vendors: a scarf and a pair of gloves, all for $10.

On our way back we stopped by Zara, a store that Gabi and I really like. We had it in Mexico and its everywhere in Europe, but in the US they only have it in big cities. Unfortunately I did not find anything that I wanted to buy ... at least for that price. I also wanted to go to H&M, also pretty much one block from our hotel. Lionel was too tired, so I told him to go ahead to the hotel, and I stayed lingering at the store. That is one store we do have in Cincinnati, so you might think it's dumb to come all the way to NY to shop there. The thing is, even though we do have it at home, I never really have time to go there. I did find a few things I liked, and eventually made it back to the hotel.

For dinner we went to a Mexican restaurant called "Rosa Mexicano". Just hearing the name really made me want to go there. As expected, our meal was great. I suggested that Lionel ordered the "Mixiote", which I have rarely - if never - seen in a menu in the US. Thinking of the Mixiote also brought some really old memories back. So I was telling him how, when my Dad worked in the mountain, he always got invited to the local celebrations of the surrounding towns, which is where his co-workers came from. Invariably they had excellent food, whether it was "Mole", "Tamales", or "Mixiotes". We always liked the food part, but I vividly remember complaining about having to go because also invariably that conflicted with some school festival, or another event Gabi and I really wanted to go.

As I was telling Lionel about my old memories, I also remembered the one time we got invited to some town party that was supposed to take place at their "auditorium". I don't really remember if that invite came from my Dad or my Mom's side, but I do remember that, as usual, Gabi refused to bring a sweater with her. Turns out, the auditorium was under construction so it really only was 4 walls. It did NOT have a roof! Needless to say, Gabi froze her butt off. Ahhh ... those were the days.

But back to New York.... as I am sitting here, Lionel is out and about, running in Central Park. I think he is crazy to go out in this cold weather, but he loves being out there at this time. In his own words, there is nobody on the streets, so it's peaceful and it feels like you have the city all for yourself. I guess I can't really argue with that.

Thanksgiving

In addition to being Bella's birthday today was Thanksgiving, for many people one of the most important holidays in the US. This is also a holiday celebrated by people regardless of their religion, or lack thereof. As far as I know it's origin is related to the pilgrims and the Native Americans sharing a meal for the very first time a very long time ago, but nowadays it's mostly a day to spend time with your family, give back, and give thanks for all the good things you have in your life.

This is not really a Mexican holiday, but one I am happy to adopt for couple simple reasons: 1) I think it is a good holiday to have, and 2) I don't want my kids to be the "odd one out".

So today I am thankful for my family, for our health, for all of us having a job, for having a safe home to go back to after a long day, and for having both my parents under the same roof, which at some point we thought would never happen again.

Yes, we have a lot to be thankful for, and I'm happy to report that we had a happy turkey day.

Sofia's turkey

Abuelita's Pollo Relleno

How old is Bella?

It's hard to believe that Bella is already 2 years old today. It seems like yesterday that I was able to hold her in my arms for the very first time, happy and relieved that despite couple scares we had along the way she was finally with us, safe and sound.

At 6 pounds, 3 ounces, she was a full couple pounds smaller than when Sofia was born. She was three weeks early, and even though that is not necessarily considered a preemie, she felt oh so tiny to us. When we put her on our shoulder we had to hold her body with one hand, and her head with our other hand. Otherwise she would slide all over the place.

That first month was particularly painful, since she couldn't hold that much food in her tiny stomach and sometimes woke me up every hour and a half. So between trying to heal from surgery and waking up all the time, those first few weeks were a total blur. But we all survived. I also remember when we swaddled her all the time, or "made her taquito", as we used to say. Those were the days...

She is so big now, but that is not the only thing that has grown in the last couple years. So has our love for her, and it keeps growing every single day. And even though we had already celebrated her birthday last weekend, today we did it all over again. Why wouldn't we? Hers and Sofia's birthdays are two of the happiest days of our lives.

Art

Sofia has always liked art. Maybe my judgment is clouded because I am her mom, but I believe she has a natural aptitude for it and is getting better at it everyday. In fact, when she had her preschool graduation her teachers wrote something along these lines: Sofia, most likely to be an art teacher.

The other day she came home with a flower she drew at school. I really liked it and wanted to keep it, buy she wanted to draw some more on it. So I offered her a dollar for it. She looked at me with a puzzled look and told me: "But it's MY drawing!".

I really did not want the drawing to be ruined, so I told her: "Ok. I will give you two dollars for it". She still wasn't interested.

"I will give you two dollars and a chocolate", I said. The answer was still no, but this time she looked interested.

"I will give you 5 dollars Fifi, but I want to keep the drawing and you don't do anything else to it", I said.

"Ok", she said, with a smile in her face. And that was it. We had a deal!

Bathroom Reading

Bella loves reading ... in the bathroom from all places. I guess we can't complain, since we started reading to her to ensure she did not get bored while she was sitting there. Besides, that's "Spanish lesson" time.

Feliz Cumple!! Happy Birthday!!

This weekend was a time to celebrate in our family. Raj, Isabella, and Lionel's birthdays are exactly 4 days from each other: Nov 21st, Nov 25th, and Nov 29th respectively.

The celebration started on Saturday, with a kid's party to celebrate Isabella's second birthday. The weather was unbelievably nice and warm. It easily reached 70 degrees, which allowed us to inflate our little bounce house and have the kids running around and enjoying the backyard. I don't think Bella quite realized what the celebration was all about, but she had a great time going up and down. She got a little scared when everybody was singing happy birthday looking at her, but she got over it quickly and moved on with her day. We were also prepared to do face painting during the party, and although the original idea was not for the kids to paint each other's face, that of course ended up being the case. I let Sofia paint a heart on my left cheek, and later on she also painted Bella's little face. It was hard to tell exactly what she meant to paint on her sister's face, but I am pretty sure she had fun, and Bella didn't care.

On Saturday night we went out for dinner to celebrate Raj's birthday, during which we even reconnected with some long lost college friends. We had fun sharing stories and wondering what had happened to other classmates, and Raj took advantage of the opportunity to try to get some dirt about Gabi's younger days. Abuelita, as usually happens when we go out at night, stayed at home with the girls.

And then came Sunday. Today the entire family (yes, all 8 of us) went out for lunch to celebrate Lionel's and Raj's birthday. Of course it was not necessarily a relaxing lunch between trying to feed Bella, taking her to the bathroom several times, and finally letting her run around at the restaurant. But nonetheless it was still nice. I always like it when we all get together, whether it is to go out to eat, or just hang out at home.

Later in the afternoon we went to Gabi and Raj's house to cut cake. They bought two cakes, one for Lionel and one for Raj, which I thought was really nice. My parents went back home after the cake and taking a few more family pictures, but we ended up staying for dinner. That allowed Tia and Tio to spend time with the girls and teach them to use the computer and the iPad, which those two really enjoyed.

So even though we are now incredibly beat, it was a great weekend for our family and to show our love for each other.

Women in IT

This morning I volunteered at an event for high school women considering careers in IT. The purpose of this type of event is to eliminate the myth that to work in IT you have to be a geek, somebody without any kind of social skills, who day in and day out sits in front of a computer and does nothing but write code.

I got there late, after taking Sofia to school, so I had to sit at the only table that did not have a mentor yet. This sounds terrible, but I was disappointed with my table when I saw them. There were only three girls there, and all three fit exactly the image we are trying to change. Two of them were frumpy and overweight, and had this look like they just did not care. The third one had long unruly hair, and was wearing a black sweatshirt with a skull print.

When I sat down I found myself holding my breath, if only because one of them reminded me of a guy I used to work with when I was getting my MBA. We were both students and only worked for a few hours at the help desk every day. The other students and I really dreaded seeing him there, because he always smelled so, but so bad, that even when he sat on a chair only for a few minutes the chair really absorbed his smell. The worse was when it rained, especially if he got wet.

 I asked them a few questions and tried to engage with them. I asked how they learned about the event, what they thought about it so far, and if they were getting answers to the questions they had about working in IT. One of them was like "I just came with her", pointing at the one that sadly reminded me of my smelly co-worker. She apparently was getting extra credit for attending, and bringing a friend. The third one, the one with the skull print, was kind of disappointed that the event was not covering the more "artsy" side of IT.

I did my best to encourage them to think about it, telling them how working in IT they can really explore many different areas and industries, and how in IT there's room for everyone, those who do want to write code, and those interested in working more on the business side.

At the end they did perk up a little bit, probably taking in all the energy coming from some of the other tables, especially during a contest held at the very end. And I want to believe that my attempts to get them interested also did them some good. Or maybe they just thought I was a big nagging dork and couldn't wait to get out of there.

Dog trick

Yesterday morning Bella dumped all her cheerios on the table...on purpose. She then started picking them up one by one with her mouth ... like a dog. Typical Bella.

A secret...

Every night, when we put Sofia to bed, I always stay with her for a few extra minutes. That is our quiet time together, when we can talk about what we did, be silly for a few minutes, and just wind down after a busy work and school day.

This is also the time when I invariable tell her that I need to share a secret with her. And every night this is the time when she tells me that she knows fully well what I am about to say. "You love me a lot. It's not a secret mami, you tell me that all the time", she says. "I just want to make sure you will never forget", I say.

But she is right. I have told them that a million times. I just can't help myself. When I look into hers and her sister's eyes my heart fills with joy. Telling them that I love them is just a natural side effect.

Mama pollita

I've been dying to write this story all day. I need to get it out of my system, to write it down and let go. So here it goes...

Last night I did not sleep well at all. I am sure in part it was because I fell asleep for about 30 minutes when I put Sofia to bed. But mostly it was because I was upset.

This past Saturday we had another beautiful day. It was in the seventies, which is basically unheard of in the middle of November. In the afternoon Sofia asked if she could go out in the backyard and play by herself. We said it was ok, so off she went. A few minutes later she came back running, somewhat upset, and told me: "Mami, <> just told me that today is his sister's birthday and that I am NOT invited".
"Don't worry about it", I said. It is probably just a family party so you couldn't be invited.

I told her that even though I wasn't 100% convinced, as I had heard some of the other kids in the neighborhood playing out there. I just didn't want her to feel hurt. We get along just fine with the neighbors and we really like them, so if they indeed were having a party I couldn't think of a reason why my Sofia would be excluded. Besides, Bella's party is coming up and all the neighbors are invited, so clearly it is not like we have done something to them.

I did not give it much thought the rest of the day. For once I was exhausted, and also we spent the rest of the day playing outside, taking a walk, and hanging out with the kids. I did not think much about it on Sunday either. We just went about our day, grocery shopping, going to the ceramic painting place, and taking Sofia to her swim lesson.

At the end of the day, after the girls were in bed, I settled down on the couch with the computer on my lap. I logged on to Facebook and was very unhappy to see some pictures the neighbors had posted about their Saturday. It felt like a big slap on the face. Turns out, the kids had an amazing day playing outside together. THEIR kids that is, since mine were clearly not invited to share in the fun.

I know it sounds dumb, and maybe only another mom of a sensitive child would understand what I felt, but seeing that made me very upset. I know they have a right to invite whomever they want, and I have no right to even think about bringing it up to them. Not that I ever would anyway. But I really wish I understood what made them overlook my little girl.

Marriage

"Mami married me because I am funny", said Lionel during dinner tonight.

"No. You married her because you had to", replied Sofia.

"I had to?", said Lionel. "Why?"

"I don't know, because you wanted to", said Sofia. She then added "If you wanted to marry somebody else you would have to live in a different house".

Lionel then asked her "Are we going to choose who you are going to marry?".

"No", said Sofia with a smile. She then quickly added "Besides, I already know who I am going to marry".

"Really?!?", said Lionel. "And who is that?"

"Devon", said Sofia. "A boy from my school".

That was the end of the conversation. We did not see that one coming, but it really wiped out Lionel's smile.

Girls Night Out

Tonight I went out. A friend from work invited me to a jewelry party, and after that we went out for dinner with a few of her other girlfriends. During the party I found some nice bracelets for Gabi, Sofia, and me. During dinner I was able to eat at my own pace, before my food got cold. Nobody asked to sit on my lap, nobody dropped their silverware to the floor, nobody screamed or fought. All in all it was a quiet night.

The thing is, some of the other tables were filled with families, including kids. And that made me miss my own family. It made me feel incomplete. So even though it was nice to go out, I also couldn't wait to come back home to just sit on the couch, relax, and hang out with my own.

Work hard. Play hard.

Work hard, play hard. A lot of people live by this motto. I got the work hard part down, but I really need to work on the latter. I think I do better than my parents who never even had time to play at all, but I still have a long way to go.

The thing is, I can't really do it all by myself. I need Lionel's help as well. I need him to want to do things out of the routine, even when there is a chance they won't turn out as well. This past weekend, for instance, we took Sofia roller skating for the very first time. If it had been for him, we wouldn't have gone at all. Why bother when we could have just stayed home? The place was not in a very wealthy part of town, and as such it was a bit on the scary side. But nobody really bothered us at all, and despite the fact that Sofia did not know how to roller skate, she really had fun.

I also keep trying to convince him to take her skiing with him, but he refuses because he immediately thinks about how crappy it could be.  And yes, it really could, but it could also be the start of a life long tradition, a special bond between the two of them. I just wish he was willing to give it a chance.

I really don't want us to be a lazy boring family. I don't want to be a boring mom or wife. And I certainly don't want my kids to look back and hope they had a different family, one eager to get out there, enjoy life, and have fun.

My "fun" outfit

Today at work somebody told me "I love your outfit. It's fun".

Hmmm. Fun? I thought. Clowns are fun, and I am assuming so are freak shows. I think she meant well, but I have to admit it did make me feel a little bit self conscious for a moment or two. Was the outfit too young for my age? Oh well. It's better than being boring I guess.

Sleep

Sleep is such a luxury for me. But last night I had a great night sleep. Probably the best I've had in months. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, as if I had slept for days. What was different about it? Last night I took the night off. I did not work. And although I did not necessarily go to bed all that early, I also took the time to read a few pages of a book I started when we went to Las Vegas and have hardly touched every since. This is something I definitely have to repeat.

Chinese

This morning, being a Wednesday, I once again volunteered at Sofia’s school for a little while to work on the computers with the kids. We were working on a section called “Who am I?” where the kids answer questions about themselves and in the process can draw a boy or a girl that looks like them. They get to choose the hair type, the color of the skin, the eyes, etc. One of Sofia’s friends, as he was in the process of drawing the face, brightly said “I look Chinese”. When I looked at his screen, I realized his face did not really have eyes yet. What he was looking at were the eyebrows that were included by default. Oops! But he meant well…

Percentages

Percentages are everywhere in our daily lives. They are used to measure success (100%) ... and failure (0%). They help us make decisions by representing the likelihood of something happening (10% chance, 50% chance, etc.). They even help us distribute time and resources (15% here, 20% there).

Today, when we were on our way to pick up Bella, I found myself thinking about this and wondering what percentages would I give to my job satisfaction. This is what I came up with:

60% of the time I am happy with it. I am glad I work, I enjoy what I do, and get mental satisfaction out of it.
10% of the time I am frustrated by having to deal with unhelpful people or with a difficult system.
10% of the time I feel like what I do doesn't really matter. After all, it is not like somebody will die if I forget to write that one memo.
20% of the time I miss my children too much and resent the fact that I go to work Vs staying with them.

So my immediate conclusion is that working part time would probably be the ideal situation for me. I will have to keep pushing for it. Maybe next year...

The 7 continents?

Growing up in Mexico we were taught that there are 5 continents: America, Africa, Asia, Europa, and Oceania. Everybody knew that. That knowledge seemed to be validated by the fact that there are 5 Olympic rings.

In the US, however, children are taught that there are 7 continents. I am not really sure where they got those two extra ones, but since I live here I guess I have to accept it for what it is, even though it seems so wrong to me. This is probably not going to be the last time my girls learn something different or maybe even opposite to what I learned as a kid.

Big girl

Bella has been doing so well with potty training that daycare has officially sent home all the diapers and baby wipes they had there. Instead, they had requested backup underwear in the event she has an accident which, we are told, is quite rare.

We are also having a lot of success at home. When she wakes up we take her night diaper off, put her in the potty, and put underwear on. We still don't fully trust her when she is sitting on the couch or when she is playing outside, but for the most part she really does not have many accidents at home either. She is probably still going to wear her diaper at night for a while, but that is Ok. We are not in any rush.

My child's wisdom

Yesterday, when Sofia and I went to pick up Bella, it was raining once again. That inspired the following quick exchange.

Sofia: "Mami, did you know that the rain is the cloud's spit?"
Me: "I don't think so nena"
Sofia: "For real mami, for real"
Me: [laughs]

Sofia's priorities

Two days ago, when Sofia and I picked up Bella from school, it started raining. So I told Sofia: "Hurry up. Get inside the car so you don't get wet", to which she replied:  "Because I have pretty clothes on right?"

Rainbow

This evening, when Sofia and I were on our way to pick up Bella, the weather was kind of stormy. There were some big dark clouds in the sky, with only a few pockets of sunshine coming through. But that was enough to form a rainbow, which was really, really cool. It was an amazing view.

Morning Marathon

This morning was a bit chaotic ... to say the least.

After breakfast, before the girls and I could finish getting ready to get out the door, I had to send a very important, time sensitive, work email. Typing the email took me 2 seconds, but unfortunately my mailbox was so full that the message could not be sent out. You got to be kidding me, I thought. Could this possibly happen at a worst time? I frantically started deleting as many emails as I could, and kept checking to see if the email was sent.

In the meantime, Sofia yelled from upstairs that she needed my help.

"I need 5 minutes to do something for work. This is very important", I said.
"But I want a t-shirt and I can't reach it", she protested.
"You are going to have to wait, or pick something else you can reach. I really need to finish this first", I said.
"It is also important to help somebody who needs help", she said.

She had a point, but she was still going to have to wait.

In the meantime, Isabella was running wild downstairs. She started pulling our placemats from the kitchen cart where we keep them, and threw them all over the floor. "Bella, NO!", I said. But she did not care. She then moved on to the living room, taking toys out and spreading them all over the place.

All along I was still trying to get that message sent. It was 20 minutes later when I finally finished with work, and by then it was already late. So we got ready as fast as we could, and got out the door to officially get started with our days. We left our mess behind. We would deal with it at the end of the day.

Parent Teacher Conference

Yesterday was my very first parent teacher conference at Sofia's new school. Unfortunately it was at 3:15pm, so Lionel could not come along.

The conference went really well. The teachers told me that Sofia has come a very long way, especially considering that she had a really difficult time at the beginning adjusting to the new school, new friends, new routine. They said she no longer cries at school, takes a lot of pride finishing her work, and even tries to help other kids as much as she can. They also said that Sofia is always very concerned about others, which was no surprise to me as she has always had a very motherly instinct. They said that when she sees couple kids fighting she tries to intervene. If they do not listen to her, and one of them clearly has the upper hand, she calls the teacher for help. Apparently she also notices right away when one of her classmates is absent, and makes a point to ask the teachers why he or she is not there.

The teachers also said that initially Sofia tended to only choose activities she knew she could do easily, such as art projects. But now she is also comfortable choosing work that she knows will be challenging and has really gotten into subjects such as geography and math, even giving math lessons to kids struggling with it.

I was glad to hear that she is doing well learning all her subjects, but  I was ECSTATIC to hear that she is now a happy, confident little girl in her new surroundings.

Carving?!?

Sofia is very interested in learning how to read. She is constantly asking us: "How do you write this? How do you spell that?" The other day we were having dinner when she asked me: "How do you spell mom?" to which I promptly replied "In English, it is M-O-M. In Spanish it is M-A-M-I".

"M-O-M", she repeated. Only then did I notice that as I was telling her how to spell it she was CARVING it, with her fork, on the kitchen table.

Lionel and I were not happy with her. But we were certainly happy she at least expressed her artistic desires in the old kitchen table Vs the nice newer dinning room table. Needless to say, this reinforced why, although we certainly need it, we are not getting new furniture anytime soon.

Mi prendedor

Lately Isabella is talking a whole lot more. Not only she knows more words, but she can also pronounce them a lot more clearly. But from all the things she knows, I think the one I hear the most day in and day out is "Mami, cargue", or "Mami, pick me up". She is at that stage when she wants to be glued to me. She wants me to walk around the house holding her, she does not want me to put her down even to wash my hands, and wants to have dinner sitting right next to me, if not sitting on my lap.

Yes, sometimes it is annoying because that does not really give me much freedom to do all the things that need to be done around the house. And I could probably just ignore her and put her down. BUT, I know this stage won't last forever. And since I spend so much time away from them when I am at work, I am Ok with spending every minute with them when I am at home.

Happy baby. Cranky baby.

Last week Bella got sick. She started running a fever on and off Thursday morning. She couldn't go to school on Friday, and given that she was still running a fever Saturday morning we ended up taking her to the doctor. Unfortunately there was nothing they could do for her. They told us it was probably a virus and we were just going to have to wait for it to run its course.

Fortunately, Saturday morning was that last time she was running a fever. Unfortunately, she has been cranky ever since her symptoms started. Even though she went back to school yesterday, her teachers said she was pretty much out of it. She was not smiling, wasn't paying attention, and wasn't playing with her friends. Same thing at home.  She is just not her usual happy self. I don't like seeing her that way. I am dying to have my happy girl back.

Politics

Lately work has not been fun at all. My organization was split into two, with most of the people I have worked with throughout the years going to the other side of the house. And despite the fact that we all worked well together, developed friendships, and trusted and had respect for each other, it appears that all of that has been forgotten. Overnight, just like magic, those good work dynamics have been replaced by suspicion, by constant push backs, and a "not me" attitude. That makes me sad, angry, and disappointed. But above all, it makes me mentally exhausted. I don't like playing those games, and I wish people realized that we spend far more energy pushing back than it would take us to just get the work done to begin with.

Halloween

Lately I've been so busy and tired that I have not really had a chance to write. So as much as I would love to write about Halloween, the girl's costumes, or our very first time carving pumpkins, the following pictures will have to do the talking for me.