Bittersweet

After an eight month search, my mom found a new job today. This is what she wanted. This is the moment she had been waiting for. Yet, taking a new job was a bittersweet moment for her ... for all of us.

For the last four months she had been taking care of Bella couple days a week. And for the last month and a half, since Sofia started Kindergarten, those two days she would also take her to school and pick her up. The three of them walked together on the way there and back, which Sofia really liked not only because of the walk itself, but because my mom would pick her up right when school ended. No need to go to the afterschool program, which is not her favorite thing. Mondays and Tuesdays Bella also got to sleep in a little, Vs having to go to daycare with Lionel right at 7:00am. And how about her even making them breakfast while I prepared lunch for Sofia, and hurried to get ready myself.

The girls of course were not the only ones benefiting from abuelita's presence around here. Whether she knows it or not, she also helped Lionel and me a lot. It is all about the little things. Having her here meant sometimes we did not have to worry about dinner, did not have to get home to empty the dishwasher after a long day at work, and did not have to take a day off because the girls were not feeling well and couldn't go to school. She even took care of me when I was sick, and made me some hot tea and one of my favorite desserts.

So yes, it was all good for us when she was around, but the truth is that it was not all good for her. As much as she loved spending all that time with the girls, she also needed something else, something that was just hers. So we thank her for all the extra love she gave us during those four months, and wish her well in her brand new job.

Afraid Ever After

Once you become a mom you automatically acquire a whole new set of anxieties. It is as if the anxiety fairy godmother touched us with her wicked magic wand and recited something along the lines of "May you forever worry sick about your kids".

With Isabella being so full of energy, and getting into everything, I worry about her hurting herself. With Sofia being so afraid of everything, I worry she will never take risks.

This afternoon, as the four of us were playing in the backyard, I felt this overwhelming wave of anxiety come over me. Other neighborhood kids were outside as well, only couple houses away. We could see them and hear them perfectly, and they could see us. Two of those kids were the neighbors’ right next door, who play with Sofia all the time. I waited a few minutes to see if Sofia showed interest in playing with them, but she never did. So I asked "Do you want to go play with them?” "Aha", Bella said, even though I was not really talking to her. "No", Sofia said, using a tone as if she was trying to defend herself. I asked again a few minutes later, but the answer was the same. I think deep inside she really would have liked to play with them, but she was too intimidated, too afraid to join a group of five or six children already at play. After a few more minutes we finally went inside, as it was close to dinner time.

Once inside I felt myself completely anxious, remembering Sofia's reaction when we were outside. I wondered if the other parents saw us standing there, in our own little world, instead of sending our child to join in the fun. And if so, I wondered what that would do to Sofia's social life in the long run. If she doesn't want to play with the other neighborhood children, is she going to be the odd one out? I pictured the other kids talking about her, whispering behind her back, and telling each other "Don't pay attention to her. She is just weird. She never plays with us". If she doesn't make the effort now, will it be too late when she finally decides to spend time with them?

I know this is all in my head. I just wish I could make her more outgoing, more comfortable in her own skin. She is a very loving kid, and she deserves the best. I never want to see her being bullied, feeling ignored, or seeing her heart break because other girls are mean to her. If I could prevent any of the above I totally would. But I know I can't. I can only hope that if that ever happens she will talk to me, because I will always be here for her.

Grown up

Sofia looks so grown up to me sometimes that it's hard to believe she is only five. At the same time, it is hard to believe five years have already gone by. And as my mom always used to tell us, I love her more than yesterday, but so much less than tomorrow.

Open House

Earlier this week Sofia's new school had an open house. My mom had already seen it, and Tio Raj couldn't make it because he was working late. But the four of us, my sister, and my Dad all went.

We knew the place would be packed, and since we are so close we just walked instead of driving there. Besides, Sofia loves to walk to school. She was so happy on our way there, skipping, telling us all about it, and asking if we were going to stop by her classroom first.

Once we were there she was so proud showing us around. I like it when her eyes lit up like that. We spent a few minutes in her classroom, where my sister and my Dad got to meet her teacher, Miss Mitza. They also got to see "peace corner", which apparently is one of Sofia's favorite spots. This is literally a corner in the room where a short bookcase, full of things intended to help you relax, creates a private spot. The idea is that two kids can go there when they need to resolve a problem - or said simply, when they are fighting. They can also go there by themselves when they need some down time. Miss Mitza said that Sofia loves that space, so they have to remind her she can't spend all day there.

After her classroom we toured the rest of the school in a bit of a hurry. I wanted to go into the art room, but Sofia had other plans. We rushed through the cafeteria, the gym, and the music room. She then took us outside to what, to her, was the best part of the tour: The playground. Isabella of course was all over that.  But by then it was definitely past dinner time. So we peeled the girls away from there, went back inside, saw the library real quick, and finally headed home.

Sofia and Miss Mitza ...peace corner in the back

Bella wanted this picture, and then didn't smile for it

Sofia doing a scavenger hunt activity

The music room

Impatient

This is the summary of a little conversation Sofia and I had in the car today. Enough to drive you crazy...

Sofia: Mami, can you pick me up at 4 today?
Me: I don’t think I can Sofia. I have to work. We’ll see.
Sofia: But, can you try to pick me up at 4?
Me: I will try. Ok?
Sofia: Ok. I want you to try to pick me up at 4.
Me: Ok. I will try. Can you please stop asking me?
Sofia: Because if I don’t stop asking then you are not going to pick me up at 4. Right?
Me: Right.
Sofia [2 minutes later]: At what time are you going to pick Bella up?
Me: Seriously? I just asked you to please stop asking me.
Sofia: But I am not asking you about me anymore. Now I am asking about Bella.
Me: Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Kids Logic

Tonight Sofia hit her head against the counter, so she proceeded to cry. We then proceeded to give her an ice pack to make her stop. Bella then demanded her own ice pack. We then told her she couldn’t have one because she did not hit her head. She then proceeded to hit her head – on purpose – against the trash can. We then gave her an ice pack. The end.

Misunderstanding

Bella is talking and understanding a lot more nowadays, but there are a few things that still go over her head. A perfect example is the following conversation at the end of dinner today.

Me: Bella, quieres fruta? Do you want some fruit?
Bella: Si
Me: Fresas? Strawberries?
Bella: NO! Fruta!
Sofia: Bella, Fresas is a fruit.
Me: Fresas?
Bella: NO! Fruta!
Me: Durazno? Peach?
Bella: NO, Fruta!
Me: Raspberries it is!