Summer has to be, by far, the worst time of year to be a working mom. You are constantly getting fliers about great places to visit, fun things to do with the kids, all along knowing fully well you will not have a chance to do most of it. You get to hear about all the fun play dates your stay-at-home friends have, and see them making new plans while secretly hoping you could also be part of them. But what would be the point of that? They clearly don't invite you because they understand that even if you are dying to go with them, you have to go to work instead.
It is during the summer that I am particularly vulnerable to the self doubt that always plagues working moms: "Am I doing the right thing?", "Should I just quit my job even if that means we would have to make sacrifices?", "Will my children look back at their childhood and feel I was not there for them?". But then again, "Would it be fair to Lionel to have sole responsibility for bringing money home?", "And what if he lost his job?", "Would I be able to just come out of my early retirement and get a job that would allow us to pay our bills?", "Do we really want to take that chance?". "And wouldn't it be worse for my kids if money problems caused our family environment to deteriorate?"
I wish I could only work part time. That would be ideal for me. Unfortunately right now that is not really an option in my company, and particularly in my line of work. So I try to make the best of it, and enjoy as much as I can the time I do have with my kids. And I still have faith that sometime in the near future I will be able to work less. I just hope that by then my kids will still want to spend time with me.
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